October 31, 2011
too early for monday morning.
Hey crazy weekend, I'm happy to say you're over. Although it's very early on Monday morning I can't fall asleep because I can't stop marveling at God's kindness and faithfulness in my life. I guess it's a good reason to be awake.
I was talking to a friend tonight (or I guess yesterday) and recounting the complete mercy of Christ's hand on my life, His mercy in constantly anchoring my soul to His promises. Rejoicing in the comfort of His word in times of uncertainty.
Father I'm so incredibly amazed at your kindness and your mercy in my life. You chose to save me, and to keep me, to guard my heart and not ever give me more than I can handle. You're providing enough grace for every moment and suppling my every breath. I praise you that you gave me a boring testimony, because the story of you redeeming any soul is the most amazing thing anyone in the world. I'm so grateful that you use everything, big or small to bring you glory. I'm thankful that man can't thwart your plan or alter your will.
Help me never grow weary of worshiping at the Cross. Help me never forget the unmeasurable grace that was delivered through your Son. Thank you for being patient with my emotional highs and lows, for my fickle heart and my distracted devotion. I pray for the future with a faith that you are the sustaining Father, the God of full and complete reconciliation. You make broken communities whole, you reach the unreachable, you soften hard hearts and restore bitter souls. You are the God of peace and rest, the God of healing and the God that is making all things new. You know what I need and what I can handle. You've closed doors and you haven't opened new ones. Change my heart to see that the goal isn't finally getting what's on the other side of the door but growing in loving the maker of the door.
I was reading in Exodus this morning about when the Israelites are fleeing Egypt and Pharaoh is hot on their heels. They were all despairing and cursing Moses for dragging them out to the desert to die. Moses replies, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."
Father, draw me closer to you in this awkward season of waiting. I want your will for my life and right now your will is for me to wait. I don't want to wait, but You want me to wait. You're not a God that hides His will from his kids or leads us astray. You've made it clear that my place right now is to wait. It's probably going to be messy, it's going to be teary and probably snotty, it's going to hurt. But that's what happens when you start knocking down walls and idols I've built up. Father keep knocking down these rickety support beams. These little "storms" are revealing the danger in believing in my own sketchy foundations. Keep building me into your word. Make my foundation strong so that my soul can only sing the praise of you.
The same God that parted the Red Sea and freed the Isrealites, is also capable of handling my restless, bitter, wicked little soul. He's already done it.