chipolte and ecalyptus

Perspective is a beautiful thing. I'm sick and I can't figure out if I'm just permanently sick or just sick for a long time and then get better and then get sick again. Today all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole and eat chipoltle and drink eucalyptus tea. But after the post about gyming it up I was afraid the Blog police would come hunt me down. Mabel had to settle for just the tea.

Actually me being sick is a classic Als move. It's like this bizarrely predictable full circle. My mom can normally call it a few weeks out. Just last week she said "Hey babe you're going crazy! Do you think you should take it easy?" Step number 1. Always listen to mom. I love being busy, and can only spend a couple hours in my house at a time. I've been known to go sit in Starbucks or wander Walmart just to get out. And I am normally oblivious to the gradual tightening of my hand on things that are becoming more, and more important to me. (Otherwise known as idols). I make excuses and nearly run myself into the ground. My last post was the climax point in this routine. Yesterdays lack of post was my burning out and today's is coming from a desire to fight discouragement. Classic Als. After I've come down from the climax I see the widespread nature of my sin. I see the devestating, arrogance in the way I've been living. It's then a battle to not become condemned and engulfed. Amazing how God glorifying conviction can so quickly become soul destructive condemnation. Jesus my soul needs to stay humbled and engaged. I can only move forward through you. I can only move forward because of you. You already died for my sin, your allowing these things in my life to show me that I need to be still and the only thing I need to be doing is pursing you.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come, behold the works of the LORD, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the chariots with fire. "Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" Psalms 46

Father help me pray this, live this, need this, love this. You are all I need.