February 29, 2012
[1 The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. 2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit. 3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.] Proverbs 16
Father this morning I'm aware of two things. Firstly, my need to commit my work to you. Secondly, my unwillingness to do so. My head knows the truth of your word, I've tasted the sweet flavor of your mercy and grace promised to me. But oh how my soul loves the things of this earth more then creator. Mostly I love control, I convince myself that despite your sovereign ability to know everything and rich promise to weave every good and sinful thing delicately together in my life for your glory. Despite the fact that you love me and are pleading with me to stop trying to do this by myself.
Father keep my heart from believing lies. The enemy is very present today, quick to whisper lies in my ear and breathing doubt on my neck. I need you to be quicker then his deceitful ways. I need you to show me again your Sovereign nature and keep me from forgetting the truth in your scripture. Like Jeremiah says, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit."
Father it's 8am and I'm already feeling the weariness of fighting doubt and temptation. You tell me that I'm fighting a war, waves of discouragement and exhaustion are sure to come. Help me remember I'm not fighting this alone and you give me every weapon, every grace, every second of energy I need. Help me feast on the attributes of you. Help me see the smiling face of God behind difficult situations and see hope in the hopeless job of picking up some very shattered relationships. Keep writing stories of redemption that will send this weary soul running back to Father's arms.
All these things I commit to you and fall at your feet, receiving the Grace you've set aside for me.
In your holy and mighty redeeming name, Amen
February 28, 2012
[1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. 3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.] Psalm 63
Father, it's been a while since I was desperate. It's been a while since I felt the devastation of relying on my own strength. That crippling burden that prevents another step forward. In your Sovereignty, this week has given me no other option than to see that need. Today all I can do is fall on my knees and wait for you.
You are the the master surgeon, and I've made a habit of slapping band aids on some pretty devastating wounds. This robs you of Glory and continues to remove myself from possible rescue. I'm crippling under the weight of my sin and slipping in and of the security of your truth. In the middle of this bloody scene, amidst the denial and failing, my loving Father meets me in my need. You take the weight from my shoulders and administer the needed medications. Then you get to work on restoring this broken child.
How quick I am to forget the restoration process you're doing in my life. How quick I am to get up off my knees and take up the same burdens. Keep me at the cross Father. Keep me humble, keep me desperate. Keep my heart from believing the lies that I can do this in my own strength. Help me to desire nothing else then to be always secure at the feet of your blood stained cross. Be patient with your children Father, this one especially is prone to wander, and prone to leave the God she loves. So take my heart and seal it for thy courts above. In your name, Amen.