October 24, 2011

monday morning drip

[To dry up a flood of rebellion is something marvellous, but to endure the constant dripping of repeated offences—to bear with a perpetual trying of patience, this is divine indeed! While we find comfort and peace in our Lord's daily cleansing, its legitimate influence upon us will be to increase our watchfulness, and quicken our desire for holiness. Is it so?] Spurgeon

Father it's not even 10:00 am and I've dropped the ball countless times. I was impatient and angry on the highway. I failed to love as you called me to love. I was quick to despair, slow to trust. I spoke quickly and now regret it. I judged someone so eagerly I completely misjudged the situation. 

You endure my contant dripping of repeated offences. This is too marvelous for me to comprehend. So sweet that my lips can't speak of it. Father may this truth flatten me. Like someone who gets kicked in the back of the knees let me fall down in worship and stay down. I don't want to move from your gospel but Lord my heart is prone to wander. I'm prone to leave the God I love. I'm so quick to move on and search for things to fufill me. Something that "feels" better. 

There are things in my life that I want gone. I want you to snap your fingers or command your creation to come to attention. I want healing, I want reconciliation, I want fullness, I want rest, I want peace. I hear myself saying, then I will love you more. These things hurt, they're heavy, I'm tired, just get them off. Change them! 

Stop me in those moments. Show me that "though my humbling wouldn't be my decision, it's here your glory shines so bright."(Valley of Vision) Help me to see your hand more than I see my discomfort. Help me to rest in the promises of your word rather then the poison of the world. Help me to see the wickedness of my sin and the abundant beauty of grace. In these things, through these trials and difficult seasons you promise fullness, peace, rest, healing, reconciliation. Make me more like you. Mold me, shape me and kick me in the knees. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your grace. 


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