October 7, 2013

[it's not enough]

Father forgive me for holding onto my stuff too tightly. For clinging to conversations, empty words and or hurtful actions. Forgive me for constantly trying to redefine my life by my accomplishments, my job title, or how I'm "doing". Forgive me for repeatedly going to empty wells expecting to be filled. For wandering and making lame excuses for why I lack joy or why I'm too busy for people. Forgive me for where I've cancelled you out of the equation, where I’ve been living dangerously deceived that my works are enough.

Though all the wealth of men was mine to squander
And towers of ivory rose beneath my feet
Were palaces of pleasure mine to wander
The sum of it would leave me incomplete

Though every soul would hold my name in honor
And truest love was always by my side
My praises sung by grateful sons and daughters
My soul would never still be satisfied

Though I could live for all to lift them higher
Or spend the centuries seeking light within
Though I indulged my every dark desire
Exhausting every avenue of sin

It’s not enough, it’s not enough
I could walk the world forever
Till my shoes were filled with blood
It’s not enough, it’s not enough
I could right all wrongs, or ravage
Everything beneath the sun
It’s not enough, it’s not enough
Though all would bow to me
Till I could drink my fill of fear and love
It’s not enough, it’s not enough

[It’s not enough – Dustin Kensrue]

Father I'm so thankful you tell us to come lay aside any weight. Just to come and be clean, be restored. It's because you sent your son for me I can come boldly to the table as the overachiever, control freak that I am and all you see is your daughter, your prodigal. I pray for eyes to see my sin more clearly and to be broken by it. It's only then that I can really experience your grace, grace to change and grow. I pray that the more I push into you the more I can push into loving others. So father thank you for the limbo. Thank you for your Holy Spirit and for revealing more and more. For reminding me that all my mess was paid for at the cross. All my works are filthy rags none are enough to save my soul. 

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