March 22, 2011

Longing for heaven or escaping to heaven?

Have you ever refurbished something? I am no expert which is why I almost always skip the difficult parts like sanding and staining and instead just attack the poor thing with 2 cans of black spay paint. The few times I have tried my hand at completely refurbishing a old piece of furniture it takes me the span of a week or two and I normally quit and restart half a dozen times. I am always tempted to take the easy way out. Especially when my dear, woodworking brother will stroll out into the garage and state simply... "Wow". In that moment my faithful bottles of black spray paint never seemed so beautiful. Okay.... Where am I going with this?

I was listening to this song in the car yesterday.....

Soon and very soon
I'll be going to the place He has prepared for me
Then my sin erased, my shameful garden
Soon and very soon

Though I have not seen Him
My heart knows Him well
Jesus Christ the Lamb, the Lord of heaven

I will be with the One I love
With unveiled face I'll see Him
There my soul with be satisfied
Soon and very soon

and had a (rare- those of you who know me...know that I am not a crier) burst of emotions that arose from a mixture of exhuastion and condemnation. I was feeling worn thin from the rhythmic sanding of everyday trials and struggles. From the coarse grit of my sin that was scratching deep patterns into my life. This song hit the nail on the head. I was longing for heaven. Longing to be free from the bondages of my sin. Longing to be done with this frail broken world. But was I truly longing for heaven or just looking forward to my escape from here? Was I just looking for the easy black spray paint cover?

I was almost immediately convicted of the true intentions of my heart. I was just looking for a easy way out. I was just trying to fix it on my own, failing, and wanting a clean slate. It lead me to ask where do you draw the line? What is the difference between longing for heaven and using it as a escape from life's difficulties? John Piper said, "It is better to lose your life than to waste it." Can you waste your life puttering through life waiting for heaven? I become burdened with being 'stuck' here and miss out on the joy of living for Christ in this world. Scraping the layers of hardened, chipping paint. Sanding for hours and hours, staining just enough to see the grain, but not too much or else you'll flood the wood and get drips. It's all part of the process. It's all so Christ might be glorified. He is using the frail and broken world to make me more like Him. He's preparing a place for me in Heaven. But until then this is my home, it's a gift not a burden.

Today I'm thankful for...

The delete button, because it seriously saved my life a few times today.
Adele, because her voice is so beautiful it makes me crazy!

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