timely emails

Yesterday I felt so small. If you've never felt that I'm sorry, because to me it's one of the best feelings in the world. Typically it happens when you're standing on the edge of a epic cliff or climbing a mountain, or standing next to the sea or something dramatic like that. But yesterday it happened at the park with my dog Jen.

Mabel had been a miserable beast and hit snooze about 6 times (which I can honestly say, almost NEVER happens). So I was standing at the park letting Jen be the wild beast that she is. With my eyes closed , still wishing I could be sleeping. Standing in the park with my eyes closed everything just started spinning. I heard every little thing around me. Dogs barking, birds chirping, kids crying, cars honking. I thought about everything lately that's been swirling in my head on repeat. Everything that's been overwhelming me, drowning me, consuming me.

Then the Lord stopped me dead in my tracks. And for two minutes everything slowed down. I realized how incredibly small I am, how incredibly all knowing and gigantic God is. How simple my needs are for Him and how willing and able He is to help me. I just had this image of God the Father sitting there holding my head up against His shoulder saying, "Als it's okay this is too big for you. Just rest. I will do what I've promised."

Then last night I got a very timely email from a friend that brought me to tears. It's funny to me how when God wants you to get something He has a way of making it very clear. She wrote,

[I do know what it is to feel like He's forgotten His promises. To be in a season of waiting, to feel His hand on your shoulder saying be still child. Don't move, you're in my holding pattern. Try not to shake His hand off and make it happen! His hand is restraining for now out of Love, out of Goodness. Our God embodies goodness, even though I know, sometimes it looks otherwise.]

[Make a joyful noise to the LORD, all the earth! Serve the LORD with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.] Psalm 100

Thank you timely emails.
Thank you lovely friends.
Thank you God for showing me that you are not hiding your will. You're making it very clear... Even if I don't like it.
Thank you for letting me feel small today.

Amen.

isaiah 49

[ Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. ] Proverbs 3


Two things are always sure. Mabel will always want a cookie and the Word of God is always True.

[Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.] Isaiah 49

Father, your commands are clear and firm. Your road is narrow but you promise great peace. Today, remind my heart, refresh my soul, that trusting and resting in my savior is a place that is "healing to my flesh and refreshing to my bones". Those who trust in you will not be put to shame. But Lord my flesh and my fears are loud. They shout out all my past failures; they encourage worst case scenarios to be played out on repeat in my brain. They love to stir up unbelief in my heart and hide the truths of your word. Father, today I pray that your promises would be louder then everything else. I pray that your faithfulness would be the main focus of my heart. Father, preach loudly to my soul, convict my unbelief and turn my eyes to your cross.  Bring healing to my flesh and refreshing to my bones. 

I found this Puritan prayer this morning, 

[When I am afraid of evils to come, comfort me by showing me that in myself I am a dying, condemned wretch, but in Christ I am reconciled and live; that in myself I find insufficiency and no rest, but in Christ there is satisfaction and peace; that in myself I am feeble and unable to do good, but in Christ I have ability to do all things. Though now I have His graces in part, I shall shortly have them perfectly in that state where Thou wilt show Thyself fully reconciled, and alone sufficient, efficient, loving me completely, with sin abolished. O Lord, hasten that day.]