lies, lies, lies.

[For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.]

Father, my heart is rejoicing at the encouragement and sustaining power of verses like this one. The anxious, fidgety, restless doubter that is fighting for control is hushed by verses like this. The headaches caused by tension  in my neck and shoulders, the stomach that's flopping and making eating meals a chore and food tasteless are all attacks by the enemy. Father, stress and anxiety, fear and unbelief is out to destroy me. It wants to control and limit how I think of you because when fear is in control, you seem little, you seem powerless. Fear takes little things and magnifies them. Fear puts myself and my well being in the center of my life, it makes my issues, my life the most important thing. Suddenly my standing with you doesn't seem to be such a big deal. It's like saying God you are good, but only when life is going well, only when fear is at bay. 

Lies, lies, lies! Soul, don't fall into these lies! I understand verses that urge a war mentality against fear and anxiety.  I find myself thinking I can't be the only person that struggles this aggressively with fear. The most amazing thing is that you, my loving Father gave me all the tools I need to attack fear, doubt and anxiety. You gave me your Son, your word and your spirit. 

Father today it's a battle again, and tomorrow will probably be one as well. Thank you for your sustaining grace and endurance to keep going and pushing into you. Thank you for giving me your spirit that convicts and supplies encouragement. Thank you for verse like this one, [plans for welfare and not evil, to give you future and a hope]. Fear, anxiety, doubt, confusion, restlessness, Jesus died on the cross to crush you. He declared it finished, and so ends your rule and power in my life. It's through Jesus blood I can say, you hold no power over me. 

A little Canadian Thanksgiving.

               

This morning I'm thankful for a heap of things. I think it's easier some times to recognize what's missing or lacking in your life then to stop and thank God for the many mercies even among the trials.

I'm thankful for my family and even when though we've gotten older and more spread out, the time together becomes more precious and sacred. I'm thankful for friends who help ease the pain of being away from family, friends that stick out the good times and the bad, friends that care for your needs and your soul. I'm thankful for FaceTime and Skype and GoogleVoice and that I live in a time and age that I can connect across thousands of miles. I'm thankful for my church back home and the work that's being done, the community that's being built. I'm thankful for "home for now" church and the care and warmth I've experienced in my time here. I'm thankful for good health for the people dear to me. I'm thankful for sustaining grace for those who are suffering and battling illness, your mercy and grace is new every morning. I'm thankful for your living word, that speaks and convicts, that shapes and changes us. I'm thankful that I live comfortably, without the stress or fear of physical harm. I could keep listing, and listing, I could get really specific and I would loose count of the pages.

But I realize all these things are only possible because you sent your son for me on the cross. This sweetens my ability to be thankful. This stirs up a different kind of joy and appreciation in my heart for the "simple" things in life. Father, it's all a gift from you. Tune my heart to sing your praise, not just on Thanksgiving Day but on every day that there is breath in my lungs.

tunnel vision

                     

                             


[Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.] Romans 8

[You are not a distant, disconnected, dispassionate Savior. You're presently making all things new, and this involves showing up in the messes and madness of life. Where there is injustice, disease, brokenness and suffering, that's where you will be found, and where you call us to meet you.] Scotty Smith

Father this morning I need grace. I need grace to believe what I'm reading, I need grace to trust in what I know is true, I need grace to trust that you're in the messiness of life. Your sustaining my life, and every breath my body inhales and exhales is a test of that sustaining grace. My head knows I'm planted on the Rock of Ages, but my heart is fearful, Father help my excercise my feet so that I can feel the solid rock under them. I need to see, and feel to know that these things are true, and fortunately I don't have to look further then the gospel. The reassuring thing is that I'm planted, even I can't see it or feel it, because you promise it. Sometimes I get tunnel vision and become blinded to the most obvious things. Supply the courage to go to your word, see endless examples of your faithfulness and fulfilled promises. Father help me to believe what is right in front of my face.

Full.

                           

                                 



[For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.] Romans 9

Father this week you've been reminding me that the only place my soul is satisfied is in you. Winds pick up and thunder rumbles and so quickly I try to grab onto whatever I can to steady myself. Father, I'm so grateful I don't need to steady myself on anything more then Gospel. I can't find security in anything else.

You made us image bearers of you. You sent your son to die in our place so that we can come to you as your kids even though our sin had factored that relationship. My identity, my life my plans, my future, is secure in you. You bring clarity and security in the middle of the storm. You promise hope and shelter to the wandering and healing to the broken.

I cannot understand why you would choose to use such weak, broken, vessels to reflect your majesty but Father my heart is full this morning. Knowing that you know everything and all I am called to do is pursue knowing you. It's all about you, and I can't screw that up.

You Never Change

Father, thank you for today. Thank you for this beautiful fall weather. The crunchy leaves, brisk breeze, and clear skies. Thank you for quiet Sunday mornings and for your Scriptures. Thank you that they aren't just man's opinions or enlightenment, but God breathed. I pray this morning that I would be able to slow down and see you clearly. In your Word you promise rest to the weary and strength to the weak, but I know you can provide focus for the distracted. 

I know that my faith and dependance on you fluctuates like the sea level. One moment the waves are lapping up on the beach, stretching and striving closer to the shore. Then, not a few hours later, the ocean looks as though someone unplugged a big drain, miles and miles out and the water can't fight its powerful tow. Funny thing is, you designed it that way, you designed animals perfectly suited for these ever changing waves. You designed ecosystems and delicate and intricate time-tables. Never once does a drop of water go further then you intended. Never once does a current pattern change or a storm surge without you willing it. Although it seems wild and unbridled to me, you are completely in control. 

Father open my eyes to see how you're sustaining and guiding every detail of today, every choice that I'm faced with or every success or failure I encounter. It's not outside of your control or a surprise to you. Hallelujah to a God who is all-knowing, all-powerful and always loving. Amen.

[In his hands are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Oh come and worship and bow down, let us kneel before the LORD our maker, for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand.] Psalms 95

Mess is mess.

                            

                                  

Father firstly I'm so grateful that I can come talk to you freely. Hidden messes or exposed messes, either way we need you. You are faithful to stand there, greeting prodigals and reassuring elder sons. Constantly demonstrating your love and patience. I don't understand it enough, I can't begin to wrap my head around those truths. The fraction I can see I'm humbled. I want to pray this morning for a really specific prayer, one that seems timely to so many dear friends and family in this season and I know for me too.

Father I pray that your Gospel would be a thousand times louder than any other noise. The regret of missed opportunities, condemnation about ferris-wheel-like sin circling round and round, bitterness of hurt relationships. These things are very loud. They deafen our ears and disorientate our hearts. Father I know you are bigger than all those things. Your son died on the cross, a sinners death in my place. I have the freedom to stand and look at fear in the face and say, you're defeated, you're finished. You hold no power of me because my Father promises nothing can separate me from him.

For those who are in the trenches of discouragement, frozen in fear right now, I pray that you would lift our eyes to see your finished work. Father you weren't swept up in the emotion of the moment when your Son cried out, "It is finished". You finished it. So in light of that, give strength to the weak, give grace and patience to the frustrated, give love to the bitter, hope to the depressed.

Ultimately Lord my heart is longing for heaven. Oh the day when there will be no more tears, no more suffering, no more pain. But until that day comes we're here, fighting sin, overwhelmed, despairing, lonely, struggling. Give us your spirit to remind us we're not alone, give us community to grow with, give us suffering to point us to you, give us grace to sing loudly of your amazing FINISHED work. Amen.

this solid ground

                                       


Father this morning I'm reminded of the power of singing. I woke up tired, aware of my growing to do list and very aware of where I've failed. I feel like flopping back into bed and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. I know I need to open your word, but it's been days and any motivation I did have has been zapped by a busy week and guilt. I know I need it but I know my flesh is too loud to read over it. Skip forward 40 minutes getting into the car and I still know I need truth, in a tired effort I put on some Christian classics. Not ten minutes later I'm crying, stopped at a red light. Music is powerful, music with truth breaks us down.

[Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find]

A practical choice to stop listening to whatever I'm listening to the most, opinions, myself, culture, whatever it may be. When I make the choice to sing to you, I'm drowning out lies with truth, I'm reciting the truth of the gospel. Singing songs of your faithfulness, your forgiveness and acceptance. It's a clear acknowledgment of my failings and my need for a savior.

Help me be a person that sings often, sings loudly, sings with joy. Help me be a person that meditates on truth so that joy overflows. In the middle of any trial help me find safety and remember who I am and who you are when i'm singing truths of your Gospel.

[Tune my heart to sing your praise.]