Weaving redemption

[1 The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. 2 All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit. 3 Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.] Proverbs 16 

Father this morning I'm aware of two things. Firstly, my need to commit my work to you. Secondly, my unwillingness to do so.  My head knows the truth of your word, I've tasted the sweet flavor of your mercy and grace promised to me. But oh how my soul loves the things of this earth more then creator. Mostly I love control, I convince myself that despite your sovereign ability to know everything and rich promise to weave every good and sinful thing delicately together in my life for your glory. Despite the fact that you love me and are pleading with me to stop trying to do this by myself. 

Father keep my heart from believing lies. The enemy is very present today, quick to whisper lies in my ear and breathing doubt on my neck. I need you to be quicker then his deceitful ways. I need you to show me again your Sovereign nature and keep me from forgetting the truth in your scripture. Like Jeremiah says,  "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.  He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." 

Father it's 8am and I'm already feeling the weariness of fighting doubt and temptation. You tell me that I'm fighting a war, waves of discouragement and exhaustion are sure to come. Help me remember I'm not fighting this alone and you give me every weapon, every grace, every second of energy I need. Help me feast on the attributes of you. Help me see the smiling face of God behind difficult situations and see hope in the hopeless job of picking up some very shattered relationships. Keep writing stories of redemption that will send this weary soul running back to Father's arms.

All these things I commit to you and fall at your feet, receiving the Grace you've set aside for me. 

In your holy and mighty redeeming name, Amen

power made perfect through weakness

[1 O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. 3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.] Psalm 63

Father, it's been a while since I was desperate. It's been a while since I felt the devastation of relying on my own strength. That crippling burden that prevents another step forward. In your Sovereignty, this week has given me no other option than to see that need. Today all I can do is fall on my knees and wait for you. 

You are the the master surgeon, and I've made a habit of slapping band aids on some pretty devastating wounds. This robs you of Glory and continues to remove myself from possible rescue. I'm crippling under the weight of my sin and slipping in and of the security of your truth. In the middle of this bloody scene, amidst the denial and failing, my loving Father meets me in my need. You take the weight from my shoulders and administer the needed medications. Then you get to work on restoring this broken child. 

How quick I am to forget the restoration process you're doing in my life. How quick I am to get up off my knees and take up the same burdens. Keep me at the cross Father. Keep me humble, keep me desperate. Keep my heart from believing the lies that I can do this in my own strength. Help me to desire nothing else then to be always secure at the feet of your blood stained cross. Be patient with your children Father, this one especially is prone to wander, and prone to leave the God she loves. So take my heart and seal it for thy courts above. In your name, Amen. 

next thing.

"Jesus guides us in many different ways. Sometimes he makes the next step clear as day. Other times, like Peter discovered in JOHN 21:1-14, it feels like we’re left to muddle through, only to find that Jesus was leading through our muddling.

“I am going fishing.”

Peter didn’t know what else to do. The past few weeks had been indescribably intense with the nightmare of Jesus’ crucifixion and the ineffable wonder of his resurrection.

Now he was sitting with Thomas, Nathanael, James, John, and two others. They were just waiting. It was disorienting. Jesus wasn’t there and he hadn’t told them what to do next.

Peter used to know just what to do: prepare the nets and boat, go fishing, take what he caught and sell it in the market. Fishing was hard and sometimes dangerous work. But Peter knew what was expected of him. The memory of the familiar was comforting.

So as long as he didn’t know what else to do, he figured he might as well do something productive. The others replied, “We will go with you.” Peter wasn’t the only restless one.

All night they fished. Cast and pull. Nothing. Cast and pull. Nothing. Try the other side of the boat. Nothing. Move the boat. Nothing. A little deeper. Nothing. A little shallower. Nothing. Where are the fish? Nothing. Whose idea was this? There may have been a sharp word or two.

Just as day was breaking, they heard a voice from the shore. “Children, do you have any fish?” James’ exasperated response was, “No!” “Cast your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

Ordinarily this would have been irritating. But these instructions were familiar. This had happened before. Peter and John glanced at one another and then tossed the net. The sudden weight almost pulled them overboard. It couldn’t be! It was! Fish! And they were huge! They couldn’t even get the net into the boat.

John’s eyes were as big as the fish when he looked at Peter and said, “It is the Lord!” Peter handed the net to Nathanael, threw on his outer garment and dove into the sea, leaving the others to drag the bulging net.

When they got to shore, they found Jesus preparing breakfast for them. He already had fish! Graciously, and perhaps with a tease of affection, he said, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” Then he served them breakfast.

And then Jesus gave Peter the next instructions.

Four Principles in This Story

This is vintage Jesus, always graciously leading and serving his bewildered disciples. And since we 21st century disciples are just as easily bewildered, it’s good for us to remember some helpful principles from this story.

First, waiting on Jesus is a common experience for disciples. Sometimes we wait for direction. Sometimes we’re stuck in a very hard place waiting for release. Sometimes we wait to understand his purposes. Sometimes we wait for his provision. Jesus’ timing and purposes are not always clear to us, though they are always best for us. So he wants our faith resting on the rock of his Word and not on the sand of circumstance.

Second, when we’re not sure what to do next, as Elizabeth Elliott says, “do the next thing.” I’m sure the disciples had prayed for guidance during those days but no clear instructions had come. Fishing just seemed like a good idea. As it turned out, it was exactly what the Lord wanted them to do. Jesus was leading them, just differently. As they did the next thing Jesus met them and directed them.

Third, Jesus is in complete control. Peter and his friends were experienced fishermen. They did their best, yet caught nothing. But that morning they discovered (again) that Jesus was sovereign over their decisions, the boat, the sea, the fish, and time.

Fourth, Jesus’ is always serving us, even when we can’t see it. He serves us in every conceivable way: from the payment of our sins, to our call, to the fish we catch, to a breakfast on the beach, to our eternal home. Jesus loves to work for those who wait for him (ISAIAH 64:4).

In following Jesus there are seasons of bewildering intensity and seasons of bewildering waiting. He does not want us to panic during either. He is in control of both. When you don’t understand his ways, trust his Word." - John Bloom


1. Waiting on Jesus is expected
2. When we're not sure what to do next, do the next thing.
3. Jesus is in complete control
4. Jesus is always serving us.  

Whatever your situation, whatever your uncertainty, the gospel applies.

Father I'm so, so, so, overwhelmed by the comfort I find in your word. It's full of truth and dripping with promise. Your promises were true then and they will prove true now. There are a lot of things around me that I would love to adjust , fix or just reschedule. I'm being tempted to look at things and say, Lord are you sure you know what you're doing?  But all I have to do is look in your word and I see that you are indeed completely in control and you are looking out for your kids. Father,   I don't have a roadmap for this week or a action plan for next week but I don't need to. That's a blessing.

Thank you for John Piper, thank you for his ministry and the hundreds of thousands of people his resources are reaching. Thank you for using him to so often point me back to you. I pray that you give him many, many more years to proclaim your glorious gospel.

 In your name, Amen.

A prayer for Hark! Market

Father this is just a silly little craft fair. It will just be a room full of crafty christmas decorations without you. Our goal from the start of planning this two day Christmas Extravaganza was to fling open the front doors of our church and welcome the community in. This is a time of year when people are softer to the church. I don't want them to come to Hark! and be smacked with religion, no ones handing out tracks or wearing turn or burn t-shirts. Father we want to be real with people, we want to welcome the community into the community of You. 

Father I want to pray big prayers for Hark! I pray that you will warm peoples hearts and that you will draw them to you. I pray you would spark something in them tonight or tomorrow that would lead them to you. Father help our volunteers as they come to selflessly serve their faces off the next two days. I pray that you would give them the words to say and the clear direction of how to care for these people. 

And lastly Father I pray for Gabrielle and myself.  Creating a last minute game plan last night we were filled with a peace about Hark! neither of us are stressed or overwhelmed, and that is only becauase of you. We took a couple minutes to pray before we called it a night last night and I was filled with faith about what you can do. Use us, use Crossway for the spreading of your glorious gospel for your glory. I pray for a continuous strength and energy for the Hark! team. Thank you for how you've poured out your grace on this event so far. I'm excited to see what you will do. 

dehydrated.

It's been a couple days since I've had the chance to write. I was in Portland for the weekend for a friends wedding. I haven't been sleeping very well, so I thought in order to spare any readers from the horror of sleepless Als I should avoid writing. But I'm back in the swing of real life and here is my attempt at jumping back into writing. If I'm being honestly haven't been reading the Word as much as I need to be. No sermons, no blog posts. I've been running on Als fuel. Its running low. I'm feeling a little dry. So I'm just going to pray...

Father, this morning the reality is that for the past week it's been a struggle to read your word. I read it but it's just like I'm reading the newspaper, or even worse, a really old, familiar, story. It's not effecting my heart. Nothings changed, you are still faithful, I'm still a sinner that needed a Savior. Your gospel remains glorious, but my heart has grown distant. I'm sitting here whining about my thirst, all the while sitting next to the fountain of life. It is encouraging to see growth in this area...a few months ago this would have taken so much longer to get here. I would have been wandering the Sahara, collapsing in a heap before I would think... 'Hmmm what's wrong here'. So Father, first of all, thank you for making me aware of my thirst, that is a sign in itself that you are warming my heart. Thank you for sending your son to die for my sin so that I never have to be thirsty again. Rejoice my soul, rejoice. 

Looking at things this morning my hearts desire is for change. I don't exactly know what that looks like. I think it practically means, listening to a sermon in the car on the way to work, or reading Spurgeon alongside your Word... Something that puts glorious old truths in new light. It means praying my face off, praying for the little things and the big things, and acknowledging my need for you in every aspect of my life. I think it practically means slowing down, saying no, taking time. I'm learning that if I'm not putting anything in, I don't have anything left to give. How can I encourage a friend who's battling depression when I want to put my head through a wall? How do I make a meal for someone when I forget to eat lunch? How can I care for someone's soul when my own is being neglected? Father you want my soul. If I bring that to you, thirsty, you are faithful to quench it and care for it. Then you'll show me where I need to go from there. I may not be doing everything, but thankfully you still are. 

Amen. 

transparent?

I was talking with a friend on Tuesday night and the topic of transparency came up. Why is transparency missing in our local churches? Why is it being replaced in our relationships? Why is it so hard to be transparent? 

Jesus was transparent, although without sin,  He was controversial to say the least, and hated by many. Jesus walked into a room and everyone started whispering, making those awkwardly, long, purposeful stares, turning  those judgmental, cold, shoulders. Then there was the verbal attack from the Pharisees, Jesus couldn't get a break! Why did He stir up so much drama? What was it about this man that rubbed some people the wrong way but drew so many others towards Him? He was transparent. The marginalized found comfort in His openness, they found a place they could rest and not be judged. They found a friend who spoke messages of salvation and hope and they found a  Savior who could redeem them from their sin. Jesus broke down  social barricades and invited the poor, the sick, the condemned to come eat with Him.  In the scriptures we see Jesus tip tables in the temple, weep over the death of His friend, heal people, enjoy good food, fellowship with friends. He was transparent, with Jesus what you see is what you get. 

Funny thing is that it was outrageous then and it's outrageous now. We live in  the the world of "Be Who You Are" or "Be Unique". But we're still being told to "Be" something. If you survive High School without going through a major identity crisis, you'll most likely get sucked into the university vortex of self help books or drowned in a sea of psychology classes. Then you go home and are Calvin and Hobbes attacked by your alter-ego, Internet self, who is looking less, and less like you everyday. We live in a world obsessed with image. We'll put on anything, except transparency. Why? 

Father, I'm proud, I don't like seeing my sin and I certainly don't want others to see it. I'm too busy primping and priming my sin to look acceptable to those people around me that I'm robbing myself of Your grace. I'm asking You, the master surgeon, to put a bandaid on a fatal wound, claiming to know what's best and not looking to the future I say, "You can stitch it up later doc, all I need is a good old bandaid." 

Father sometimes it's awkward to be transparent, actually I take that back... It's always awkward.  It's difficult to peel off that cheesy smile of, "I'm fine thanks! How are you?". I have to be ready to get real with people, and be ready to receive transparency as well. Real relationships are messy and its almost always easier to have fake ones. But Lord, make me more like you, mold me more like Jesus. Make me transparent  so that Your grace may abound in my life and I can grow in community and love of You. Break down the walls of insecurities and lies this worlds been building in my  heart.

"Take my life and let it be, always only, all for thee."

Take my life and make me transparent, like Jesus. 

Amen 

marginalized.

[Involvement with people, especially the marginalized, begins with a profound grasp of God's grace. Often our instincts are to keep our distance. But the Son of God ate with them. He's not embarrassed by them. He lets them kiss his feet . He's the friend of the riffraff, traitors, the unrespectable, drunks, druggies, prostitutes, the mentally ill , the broken, and the needy- people who lives are a mess.] -Tim Chester

Oh Father forgive me for forgetting your grace! Forgive me for viewing  people as unworthy projects! You ate meals with them, lived with them, walked life with them, loved them. Jesus soften my heart to see the need that's right in front of my face. Warm my heart, tune it to sing your grace, so that you might be praised. I don't tend to like people, I make snap judgements and move on when things get difficult. I prefer to surround myself with people I like and all together avoid ones I don't enjoy. Lord, who am I to decide who fills your church?  Forgive me.

I don't want more stories of change because of people following programs or the "church fixes everything"  bandaid mentality.  I don't want to listen to any holy water scams. But Lord I do want genuine change, full repentance and changed hearts. I want tears and rejoicing, real pain and real worship, by restored, refreshed people.  I want cold hearts sparked by the warmth and welcome of your gospel. I want drug addicted bodies to find comfort in God's word. I want the isolated, single, mom to find support and refuge in the care and community of a church family. Lord help me to slow down, to unclutter my life so that I have time to pray, and reach out to the people around me. Somehow use my failed attempts at care for your Glory and continue to teach me what it means to love like you. Because Jesus when I step back not very far, my life was a mess, and it's only through you that I've been redeemed. What a message of hope. Thank you for how your Gospel demolishes every kind of social, racial, global, and language barrier. You are a Holy, loving God who died for broken, filthy, marginalized people, you get the glory. 

[For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.] Romans 5